a warrior.

oh, broken soul, here you are standing,
scrubbing your eyes, a swollen bloody red, refusing
to fall, needing to stay brave, burying
away the hurt, tumbling down another trail of loss

oh, broken soul, you’ve been strong for so long,
you’ve been sparring the demons for so long,
you’ve been climbing, only slipping, trying for so long,
you’ve been crying, the tears can’t hold you afloat any longer

oh, broken soul, here you are believing you’re broken,
thinking you’re worthless– like every word you’ve spoken,
wondering whatever happened to that lost token
of hope, you should’ve stumbled upon so long ago

oh, broken soul, you’ve tried holding it together
erased the thoughts, trusting that would make it all better

oh, broken soul, i need you to see, you can’t do that forever,
there’s only so much pain you can shelter yourself from.

oh, broken soul, don’t wipe away the tears,
let them fall in rivulets, a cascading waterfall,
gather them in droplets, in streams, and tuck them in your heart–
let them remind you of how courageous you are, a fighting soul

oh, broken soul, let me tell you one thing:
you’re not broken, only a warrior.

Just Words

Lifted the pen. I want to write;
But the words won’t come. That’s not right.
Maybe they grew wings, took off in flight.
I’m not sure if I can win this fight

Against words. They’re just words.
What does it matter if no one in the world
Reads my mind? I’m just another girl,
The kind that continues to be misheard

No matter how loud I scream.
They’re just words. Yet they remain unseen,
Even when I swear that they’re not obscene–
‘Cause I’m just another impulsive teen.

Would you ever care to take me seriously,
Even if I tend to scrawl these words furiously?
Would you ever dare to read just one line, dubiously?
Or will you still call my words half-baked idiocy?


It started off as a poem about writer’s block, but then… well, it turned into something deeper, I guess. I’ll just say that.

Your words, no matter how small they seem, deserve to be heard! So go ahead. Pick up the pen (or put your fingers to the keyboard) and start writing!

~wardah 🌹

nightly ritual

1
slip on the gray, silver-speckled PJ’s. feel the fleecy interior encasing you, like a cozy hug. hug yourself, because you’re not perfect. love yourself, because you’re not perfect. remind yourself, you’re here, you’re okay.

2
open up a book, transport into a world of sunshine and laughter and joy. just a few simple words strung together, somehow creating another universe. for a few minutes, inhale these letters, these beings of imagination. they’re a part of you.

3
gather the pens and sheets of paper, on your desk. carefully, let your hand flow, swoops and flourishes embellishing the stationery. your name, your thoughts, your heart – it’s all out there. let them know you with these words of beauty.

4
eyes are drooping now. find your vanilla-scented lotion, it always blankets your mind in a layer of peace. breathe in the sweetness. let it embrace you, the way you embrace life and its might.

5
switch off the lamp. climb into bed, snuggle under the gentle, silky covers. recite your prayers, reflect upon your day. maybe you shone like the coruscating stars. maybe you tumbled from the boundless skies. but there’s always another chance awaiting at the other side of the night.

watering my soul: a journey

drops of rain skitter across the ground
bringing life to the wilted leaves

i thought that tears only deepened the wound
yet i was watering my soul, a blooming tree


Sometimes we fail to see how far we’ve gone, how much we’ve grown, how strong we are. But with a little introspection, the light is shed on the truth.

silent silvery tears. Looking back – three years ago – I’m not entirely sure why I chose that name for my blog. I was sad when I created it, that much is apparent. I think that phrase might be from a poem I wrote years back, now lost in waning memories.

My first three blog headers use cool colors, blues and greens and rain-like themes, indicative of some sadness I can’t completely place now. Some of it was from giving into to expectations from loved ones and society, believing all I was worth was what others thought of me. Thinking that every time someone saw my grades and went, “You’re smart,” it means that all my worth was in numbers and what they saw.

My world was crumbling.

I’d fallen, hard, so many times. Sometimes I couldn’t breathe, feeling as if I was drowning in my own tears. Maybe I was. My self-esteem, already not the best, was plummeting. I’d stare at the mirror, trying to figure out who the trembling, black-eyed girl staring at me was. If she wasn’t “smart,” a bunch of useless numbers, what was she?

I’d lost myself, in a void of nothingness.

It only got worse. It can only get worse, if you don’t stop it.

Continue reading “watering my soul: a journey”

like ghosts

people, they drift in and and out
in restless bouts like ghosts unsure of
how to let go, how to give you up,
how to traverse through a deserted life

people, they claim to miss you
ask how are you?
plead i need you
wonder where you floated off to without strife

people, they look with their eyes closed
blinded to the truth, you’d already left then
you’d already left them
behind in a world of make-believe, agonized

people, they flit here and there
in the fogged-up air like ghosts unsure of
what to do when they’re forgotten,
a forlorn history fading into the sunrise

(but some people have crossed the border
quite sure of what lies ahead,
not needing those ghosts and disorder

when they have all the sunsets)

Insignificant

You call yourself an ant:

small
weak
lonely
worthless

Holding up the crumpling galaxy on your shoulders
acting unburdened, while you dissipate on the inside
a blackhole

Oh, but don’t you know–
ants can carry 100 times their weight?

Here you are, carrying a million times yours

Without you, the universe would collapse
a rupture of dying stars, hovering rocks, untethered matter

You matter

distracted

you okay?

yeah, i am, it’s just–

my head is throbbing, my hands are trembling, my heart’s too heavy–

maybe i’m sick.

i shouldn’t have had that coffee. i shouldn’t have had that much sugar. i should have been smarter, should’ve taken care of myself. should’ve taken a second to breathe, inhale, exhale, you’re “okay.” should’ve slept more. should’ve just stayed inside my shell, peeking out but drawing my head back in, like a turtle. should’ve tried harder. should’ve been better.

should’ve been better. should’ve been better. should’ve been a person that’s not me.


Note: No worries, I’m okay, just writing from a different/past perspective. Trying to be perfect is tough, but also impossible. My advice: Don’t try it, you’re already amazing being yourself.

Side note: I probably won’t be on WordPress as much the next week or so for exams. (Midterm season is not fun.) But I’ll be back whenever I feel like procrastinating, haha.

Stay strong and fantabulous!

Missing: the old me

I wonder what happened to the girl
who couldn’t stop smiling at everyone
who cracked cheesy puns at the most serious times
who could breathe in the fresh air, eyes closed, at peace
safe and happy

I wonder what happened to the girl
who believed she could do anything, so she did
who knew how to sprinkle kindness in even the darkest of hearts
who was ready to change the world, just tell her it’s time
it’s time

I wonder what happened to the girl
who wasn’t afraid of people, of life
who didn’t break after each word
who was strong, who could face the wind, the world
who could face everything

I wonder what happened to that girl
Have you seen her?

Liebster and Penable Awards!

This is a long post, but I tried to make the answers fun. Enjoy, and thank you to all of you for supporting me! I appreciate it so much!

The incredibly kind and talented Avni from Avni’s Bookshelf nominated me for the Liebster Award! Thank you so much, Avni, it truly means a lot! ❤

I met Avni earlier this year in May. She’s so sweet and her comments will make your day. Her poetry is amazing, it’s always inspiring and lifts your mood, no matter how you were feeling earlier. I highly recommend reading her work and following her blog. It’s worth it, I assure you!

Rules

  • Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  • Answer the 11 questions the blogger asked you.
  • Nominate 11 bloggers.
  • Ask your nominees 11 questions.
  • Notify your 11 nominees.

Answers

What accomplishment are you most proud of?

This really got me thinking, but I’m most proud of a TED Talk I gave at my high school a couple years back. It was about my experience with stereotypes, why they’re harmful, and how we can eliminate them. I normally dislike being the center of attention, but this topic is something I’m passionate about, so I was honored to be able to give the speech and make a change, even if it’s just in my community!

What’s the most beautiful place you’ve ever been?
Taken 3/26/19 in Cappadocia, Turkey by Wardah

Turkey, for sure! We went there for a week in March 2019. We visited Cappadocia, a mountainous area with cool underground caves, and Istanbul, the location of the gorgeous Blue Mosque and many more historical sites!

I have a more in depth post about my adventures there, linked here. But it was honestly the most beautiful and peaceful country I’ve ever been to! Everyone was so kind and hospitable too, stranger or not. I’d live there if I could!

Continue reading “Liebster and Penable Awards!”

Tumbleweed

Funny how just a day or two ago, she felt so… calm. She knew this was why life’s worth living. Sunlit smiles, a heart filled with joy, a delicate breeze of content she needed so, so badly.

She was happy. She was okay.

But now she’s back to square one, snacking on too much chocolate, locked up in the house, feeling like some sort of a failure, a mess she should clean up but not motivated to fix. A girl lost in the desert, a tumbleweed, twisting, withering away.